A Grunkle's Guide To:
by Pumashirt Panthershirt
Summary: When you get dumped with the responsibility of two kids, your summer can get pretty hectic. But there's always your Grunkle Stan to help you get through your very long summer. (Rated T for safety, also known as me being paranoid).
1. To Surprise Visits

**Hey guys! I'm here with another fanfiction! Hope you enjoy! This will be in Grunkle Stan's POV the whole time pretty much.**

* * *

><p>One word of advice: always answer phone calls. Because if you don't, you'll get bombarded with the responsibility of two kids you didn't ask for. It was just a random summer Tuesday. Business was nice, lots of tourists, the cops forgot their daily round, the day was absolutely perfect. I was busy counting the day's profit when I heard the wheezing of the Speedy Beaver bus outside. The crunch of dirt towards the front door signified the arrival of the day's last tourists. Excited to reel in some more suckers, I flicked my eye patch down and ordered Wendy to mark up the prices. <em>Gotta make 'em leave empty-pocketed! <em>

I opened the door and exclaimed,"Welcome to the Mystery Shack! Are you ready to see-"

"Um, are you Stanford Pines? Or are we in the wrong place?" I looked down to see two kids on my doorway. One with a brown star hat and another with a bright red sweater. I stared dumbfounded at the pair. _Who are these kids?! _I watched the boy pull on his sister's arm.

"Ugh! I knew it, Mabel! We stopped too early! Who knows, we might still be in California! Or we might be lost! Or-"

"Woah, woah! I'm Stanford! Gee, you gotta relax sometimes. Now, who the jeckel are you and why are you asking for me?" The boy seemed to calm down and compose himself. The girl next to him seemed to be in her own little world.

"Oh, that's a relief. Um, I'm Dipper and she's" the boy explained, pointing to the girl," Mabel. We came to stay with you for the summer in Gravity Falls. Our parents said you agreed to this, or someone said you were alright with this. Someone name Deuce, Zeus? Something like that." I slapped myself. _Of course Soos would agree to this._

"Well, I guess I'm stuck with you two, aren't I? Fine, go inside. I'll find some place for you to sleep," I watched as the pair, Dipper and Mabel I think they were called, ran inside. The boy started looking around the gift shop, curiosity peaking with every oddity he saw. The girl just ran around the place, playing with the snow globes and spinning the post card stand. "And don't touch the merchandise!" Dipper and Mabel stopped what they were doing and looked at me. "Just go in the Employees Only area," I shooed them off. The girl ran into the room, the boy just politely walked inside. I sighed. _This is going to be a long summer. _I flinched as I heard a gigantic clang and a,"Mabel!" from the other side of the door. _A very long summer._

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you guys enjoyed this and like this idea! Please R &amp; R! Til' next chapter! Onwards Aoshima!<strong>


	2. To Family Fun Days

**Hey guy! I'm here with another chapter to this fanfic! I'm glad that you guys like this so far! Ok, on to the chapter!**

* * *

><p>If you ever plan to have a Family Fun Day, make sure it's not illegal first. Since I guess painting hundred dollar bills and using them as real money is "against" the law. Who knew right? But anyway, spending a day in jail is not fun, especially since all the convicts there cheat at every card game you play. Now for a good example of what you'd want to for these kind of days would be fishing or hunting or some kind of outdoor activity. I personally took my grand niece and nephew fishing.<p>

It was a nice day, the monthly fishing day of Gravity Falls in fact. The whole town was out there! I just knew it was going to be a perfect opportunity to bond with the two knuckleheads. Plus, I was prepared with everything two kids could ever ask for... a corny joke book, a creepy bait box, and handmade fishing hats! My mood however was drowned when I saw their faces desperate for something to get them away from their fate of spending the entire day with me. Who doesn't want to hang out with their grunkle and his cheesy joke book for ten hours? Well now that I think about it... Anyway!

The two then ditched me with Soos after that annoying coot, McGucket, continued to yell about this Gobblewonker thing. What is that even supposed to be? Well if this ever happens to you, you always have your yuk'em up books and lifeless-eyed bait to keep you company! But if you're bored with that or just can't handle the stares of your fishing lures, you can always try to make random fishing buddies with awesome jokes, little secrets, or by stealing their fish to trap them in conversation. Although, that didn't work out too well for me, if you count getting a police ankle bracelet a failure.

But just know, they'll always come crawling back because like me, you're probably irresistible! Sure they might not be ecstatic at first, but once you show them how to make fishing buddies the way I did, the day can get pretty hectic and stressful. I'm just glad the cops didn't catch us! If you're still in the mood for family at the end of the day, bring your kiddos to the Diner and get them some salad dressing. They go ga-ga for that sometimes, or at least I think they do..

One thing to remember however, I might not be the best... source to come to for these kind of things. But one thing I do know for sure is that this responsibility to burden can actually be fun. Those two aren't actually that bad. Not bad at all...

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the short chapter DX! I hope you enjoyed it anyway! Please R &amp; R! Til' next chapter! Onwards Aoshima!<strong>


	3. Author's Note

**Hey guys! I've been debating this between myself for a little while, and I've decided that I'm going to keep this as a one-shot. The first chapter was short and sweet and I do believe the second chapter sort of ruined that. So I will take down the second chapter, and make this a one-shot. I apologize to anyone who wanted this to go on, but I've sort of lost interest in this story and that's pretty much my only excuse. Again, I'm sorry. Til' next time. Onwards Aoshima.**


End file.
